Foxy Roxy Is Joey's Poxy Doxy!
by slenderpanda597
Summary: Bread fic. Martina reflects upon Joey, with surprising consequences. Oneshot.


Foxy Roxy is Joey's poxy doxy?!

(a/n - in celebration of the new bread category I thought I would write a short joey and martina fic. For those of you who are unsure, doxy means mistress, and poxy means small. This is quite rushed, so expect mistakes)

Martina sat at her desk in the DHSS, bored. Her face was aching from having her poker face mask on all morning, without one hint of a smile. Normally, everyday she got a brief break to let herself smile when Joey Boswell came in. Recently though, his various siblings had been coming in, and, she had to admit, they weren't the same as the charming and scheming Joey.

After her fifth claim for stolen washing line goods, Martina looked up to see the youngest of the Boswells, Billy, sat in front of her. Her colleagues now knew to let her deal with the Boswells and other tricky clients. She wasn't afraid to back down.

"greetings." Billy said in what had to be the worst impression of Joey she had ever seen. Not that she had seen any impressions of him, who would impersonate an insignificant guy from Liverpool? Martina sighed. He wasn't that insignificant. To her, at least.

"what is it this time, sandwich boy?" she asked frostily.

"well, you see, me grandad has like this problem y'see, an' 'e like needs a new like mattress you see." he said in a rush.

"I see. And how much would this mattress be?" she asked.

He pushed a piece of paper towards her, and she rolled her eyes at the sum. £75.

"what sort of mattress is this?" she asked.

"well, a normal one." he said, confused.

"well then, why didn't you pay for it then?"

"I HAVE A WIFE AND KID TO SUPPORT, ME!" he cried, leaping to his feet. Martina rolled her eyes for what must have been the hundredth time that day. She then had a good idea. Joey hadn't been in recently, and, if truth be told, she missed him. She knew what might bring him back in. She slid a form across to Billy.

"get your older brother to fill that in and bring it back." she said smoothly, smirking slightly.

"which one?" Billy asked.

"which what? I've only given you one form, and the rest is clear."

"which brother?" Billy whimpered, clearly terrified of her.

"dear god, the one with the jag and the leather gear." she smiled. The one who always complimented her.

"oh, Joey? Well he's busy, ain't he?" Billy said.

"well I would like to see him."

"that's called fancying someone, that is!" Billy shouted, so that the entire waiting room looked their way. Martina quickly composed her emotions, she was good at that, and looked at him

"no," she sighed. "it is called wanting to speak to someone who doesn't leap to their feet or raise their voice every 5 seconds."

Billy leapt to his feet once more.

"nobody asks my opinion on anythin', they don't! Why do I always get told to shut me gob? Nobody likes me!"

Martina looked up at him.

"point proven. NEXT!"

The day after, Martina was confronted with not one, but two Boswells. Adrian and Jack. They both handed her the form and asked for the money.

"may I ask why you are here, and why your eldest brother isn't?" she asked

"I consider that private information, which I choose not to divulge in these circumstances and -" Adrian started, but Jack cut him off.

"shut it, Adrian. Joey's bangin' Roxy, ain't he? So we came whilst on a job. Now, the money."

Martina was in such a trance like state she signed the money across to them without thinking about it, then closed her station and put her head in her hands. Roxy! She knew who that was! Foxy Roxy, who used to come on and ask for cash before she got married. Married! And Joey was with her! Maybe Joey was her husband! She groaned and rubbed her temples where a headache was forming. Roxy was so small in comparison to her! Martina had everything going for her, and Joey had complimented her often enough.

'they were just bribes.' she told herself. 'just ways to get you to hand over the money.' the trouble was, they had worked.

Martina was so upset that when she finished her day at work to go home, she barley registered anything, which was unusual, since Martina was usually an alert person. She stumbled out to the foyer, and was just coming out of the door when she heard it.

"greetings."

She gasped, and clutched the door handle, scared for her health. She was hallucinating! And strongly, as then she felt the hands upon her waist. She gasped again. No man ever got that close to her, she was the ice queen, the most unappealing woman for miles around, and yet they were definitely there, the warm tender hands. She knew who they belonged to. Almost every day she had watched them sign a form. And she knew their size and what they would feel like. She turned around.

"ah, and if it isn't the lovely Martina!" he smiled, oozing charm and comfort.

"what do you think you are doing, mister Boswell?" she asked. He pulled her towards him.

"what about Roxy?" Martina asked.

"ah, Roxy." Joey sighed. "we had a little, um, disagreement, shall I say." she looked up at him. "well, I erm... Realised how unpleasant and manipulative she is, and I had been having thoughts about someone else, so I ended it. She's gonna get another guy by mornin', I bet. As if I care." he grunted. "she can go back to her husband if she wants." Martina gasped loudly then. He wasn't married!

"and who is this other person then, mister Boswell?" she asked, hardly daring to breathe.

She did stop breathing then, as Joey did the unthinkable.

He placed his finger under her chin, lifted her face to his, and kissed her.


End file.
